My friends, my mom, and Starbucks think I'm crazy

On my bluetooth with my mom driving one armed to pick her up from work:
Nakita: The Pupper (what I'm calling him since Mom doesn't want me to use people's names. Oh, and by people, I mean our dog, or BC as she calls him) is staring at the car right now.
Mom: Wait, I thought you were almost here?
Nakita: I am.
Mom: Wait where's The Pupper?
Nakita: Staring out his window at the house. Where do you think he is? I'm driving to your work!
Mom: He can't be at his window and you be where you are. I am so confused.
Nakita: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY SARCASM!
Mom: You can't say he's staring AT the car. That means he's OUTSIDE of the car. You should've said, "He's staring in the car!"
Nakita: No. That makes no sense. He's sitting in the passenger seat staring AT the car because your voice is coming out of the speakers.
Mom: Oh my gosh. I'll see you when you get here.

Why Starbucks thinks I'm crazy:
Nakita: Can I have a tall nonfat hot chocolate with whip? It evens out you know.
Barista:(laughs at me) Do you need a drink carrier?
Nakita: No thank you, I'm saving the world.
She just walks away.
I just didn't finish my sentence. What I meant was "No, thank you, I'm saving the world one drink carrier at a time." I say the same thing about plastic bags at the grocery store. I think the checker outter people at the store think I might be crazy too.

What happened on my cousin, Monica's voicemail:
Nakita: Hey, it's me. So, are you working tomorrow? Because if you're not working tomorrow...EFF I HUNG UP!!!!
(call her back. I hear her voicemail message and immediately hang up because I can't leave voicemails so out of habit I hung up. Again. Call her back.)
Hey sorry. I hung up on accident because I pressed the stupid button. And then I called you and hung up out of habit. I'm dumb. Anyway, when are you off? I want to go hiking. Tomorrow. To Pillboxes. Let's do that. Also, there is Zumba at 9. We should go to that first and...
Her voicemail robot: You're message has been deleted please rerecord blah, blah, blah.
Nakita: I. can't. Can you just call me please? GAHHH!!!!!!

On Facebook chat:
Nakita: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!
Levi: Yes. You added him on The FB. If you came out more often, YOU'D have MET HIM...Yes, I'm yelling at you....
Nakita: I TORE THE CARTILAGE IN MY SHOULDER! I'M INJURED! and on a lot of drugs. and by drugs i mean vicodin. also, i'm doctor ordered not to drive. i don't drive anywhere past the costco shopping center.
Nakita: because i can't NOT drive. the doctor doesn't understand
Nakita: i'm on a lot of vicodin right now.
Levi: Which means you're kookier than ever?!?!?! Bahahaha.